Parents, Are We Prepared for Puberty Yet!

“Indians are the most committed partners, most committed lovers, most contented in their sexual lives, and the lowest in one-night stands.” An interesting Global Sex Survey by Durex (2005) and lot of reasons for India to cheer! When it comes to awareness for HIV/AIDS–India ranked topmost again (87%) agreeing it to be a serious priority. But, coming to sex-education, proud Indian parents take a backseat leaving it all as a responsibility of the Government or schools. Because we still don’t want to talk about it! Globally, people feel that the age for sex-education should be 12 years instead of the existing 13.2. While Indians still have the age to be educated about it as 15.6 years! Are we still enjoying living in a conservative society, blind-folded to the fact that these results are for today; an outcome of ‘low exposure’ and a lot of societal and moral pressure of yesterday (making us unable to outdo the scores)! The survey has also revealed a huge untapped market for the players: Indians being among the least sexually active people with most common age to lose virginity to be 19.8 years. If any teenager gets to read this he feels globally challenged already by the numbers where common age to lose virginity is 17.3!How long parents will be oblivious to the knowledge they should impart to their children well in time? Did you notice your pre-teens making peek-a-boo to adulthood already! It is time to get real. The generations ahead have an ever-growing exposure through different media. TV, movies, videos, internet, books, magazines… what all can you block! A class Xth student in Delhi sends a porn MMS and should anyone be agog about it! It was late than ever when a curious teen starts getting information through all wrong sources. He is feeling different-his hormonal pressure is making him explore sex. Some of the advocates of morality will blame him for his misconduct at crucial time when he should be all focused into his studies- stepping-stone for his career (He could have been probably if he knew it all before in a healthy way!). Thanks to the schools, which allow hygiene companies to come and teach budding women about menstruation; and if in a co-ed, the guys are left out completely to be more anxious than ever-before about what’s in there for girls! An 8-year-old child knows pre-marital pregnancy, love making, rape! If not the terms per se he can well relate the next scene in soap or a movie when a woman goes puking, that she is pregnant! So how long will you go on telling the stork brings baby stories? You did not give a right answer when he picked up a tampon and ask you. Result in no time he orders a free sample with literature from this magazine ad! Your 13-year-old girl trying on a bra, padded with tissues and there you are, ready to thrash her getting paranoid about her act. How long do we want them to be innocent kids and keep them protected of getting into adolescence? In your times you had to curb it, as it was taboo, immoral and completely forbidden area to even think about it. But we all know that the future generation is more liberated, more inquisitive, more experimenting & argumentative and ‘MORE EXPOSED’! Unfortunately, not properly INFORMED yet again. So would you carry on the same legacy making any normal sexually developing child feel guilty about his fantasies? How many women wish if their moms could have told them about periods before they started having it. It could have eliminated all those fears of seeing the blood for the first time and find some abnormal swelling in the breasts in adolescence. Are you also going to frown with an obscure fear that she should not ever fall a prey to someone (Gosh she’s a woman now), when she has her first periods? Would you also be frantic keeping her more protected than ever-before, keeping a check on her behavior, phone calls, and measuring depth of friendliness with boys. Are we just not repeating ourselves-generations on generations avoiding this subject as long as we can; and just have another breed of rebellions when they have already got their act together? Why can not parents think of while giving food, clothing, shelter, education or career path to their child; a small guidance on a better man and womanhood too! Why do we feel uncomfortable talking about it- a thing, which is rather normal, healthy and best when shared by parents? You can keep worrying and blaming it on the pollution, insecticides, obesity, or EXPOSURE- but early puberty is a fact. Kudos to Delhi Government, which has introduced the important biology chapters in class 6 instead of class 9 or 10! But should you leave them only with schools, to teach a lesson on anatomy! No school can give as much of openness, confidence and assurance as a parent could do. Experts tell giving the right answers whenever asked is a big help in right foundation. Not giving the right names to the private or genital parts leaves them unaware and probing. Of course kids need to graduate with some knowledge at some level. Parents can discuss and devise between them empathizing with their kids. When discussed in family already they don’t need to lay hands on unworthy sources and porn etc. Inculcated through parents like other traditions, values, emotions and lessons on morality, an open talk on this one will help them too. Psychologists feel anything learnt from family is adapted more easily and casually rather than other external sources which may leave them astonished and inhibited to open on the same. Once they know it already they feel less inquisitive and abnormal about it. They would also know of the right choices and responsibilities associated with it. They would know of unsafe sex leading to not only HIV but also other possible STDs. They would know it isn’t just for physical pleasure but should be out of two people’s consent and emotional attachment. They would respect abstinence. You are the one who trained your child for almost everything, but leaving this one for someone else or for some other time! Hope they would not know it and do it all (much before they should)!! What- is it still which parent to which gender- please wake up to the cause and let us not be in the shells of mother-to-daughter and father-to-son; but parents to children.